Finding Time to Reconnect

[Tanjariitta Anttila van Hoover]

It always makes me feel so sad, and eventually angry, that I don't keep up with my creative process when I most need it. In that sense, it is no different than my exercise routine, meditation practice, attempts at eating healthy, or any other self caring thing I (attempt to) do. I make sporadic progress, then I get impatient and stop because I get distracted by life or I convince myself that it "isn't working". I just want to skip past the painful parts and get right to the reward. "Discipline" and "Process" are not my strengths. So here I am, once again, making an attempt. Hopefully this time with a bit more patience and compassion. Perhaps I don't have to do it perfectly - I just need to do it. Instead of waiting for the perfect opportunity, I hope my eyes begin to open to recognizing the small openings and the quiet invitations.

[Tanya M. Lewis]

Tanjariitta, I too can empathize with what you're feeling. It never ceases to amaze me, that creativity & art, the two things I love most in the world...I tend to deprive myself of the most. It's usually not until I relinquish the doubt, first in my own capabilities and the need for perfection, and circle back around to what my heart needs most to heal. This generally leads me directly back to TD, and once I am able to let go of control...and simply immerse myself in the process...the rest takes care of itself. At that point, I usually discover what I had known all along....I simply needed to be quiet & listen, what is received through this silence resonates in the heart & ultimately on my drawing board. Tamara is right, be gentle with yourself my friend....you are on the right path.

[Tamara Knapp]

I can relate to your frustration. I hope that you will be gentle and kind to yourself. Celebrate that you are trying!