For Shame?

[Amanda Koh]

Mary just sent a message out which stated the following:

"I have difficulty getting myself to bring my grief to the drawing board. The grief permeates my life. and everyday I walk by my TD table and shame myself that I'm not drawing.
Does anyone else share this problem?
If not, what is your experience drawing? What do you receive out of it?"

The first gut response I have to this message is................ Shame? But WHY be so hard on yourself!? If you are going through a tough time in your life - the last thing you need is your own self beating you up.....

and perhaps - speaking from my own experience of GUILT for not doing artwork - a very similar experience - I would imagine - I believe these feelings may be the very things that further isolate us from living the drawing and painting we so desperately would love to do otherwise.

When we attach the emotion of guilt and/or shame to NOT drawing......... what are we saying the drawing IS? Are we saying it is something we MUST do? We are SUPPOSED to do? We SHOULD do? And if so - why? WHY WHY WHY? WHY would we subject ourselves to such torture?

Remove these feelings - because when we attach these feelings to the things we LOVE - they will inavariably become the things we AVOID............. Because who wants to walk by something and feel shame or guilt? We don't deserve that judgment........................ and if we don't stop placing that kind of judgment upon ourselves, we will find ways to unconsciously avoid even going near the things which prompt those emotions.......................

Relax and love your self.....................

Let those negative feelings go.............. let them be transformed.................... into something beautiful somewhere else...................

rethink who you are, and what your purpose is in front of that paper and paint...............

because it is certainly NOT a requirement or a punishment for you to experience yourself creating..................

it simply IS when it IS.....................

so let it be.....................

[Julie Ann Lien]

I've been using a statement taken from "the Gentle Way" by Thomas Moore with positive results.
"I request the most benevolent outcome for................(fill in the blank)" followed by "I ask that the
benefits be even greater than I can imagine." "Thank you." Personally, I have used this affirmation
to effectively create intention in every area of my life the past 2 months...but it has really helped
when I begin a Touch Drawing session. I feel more guided, supported and less judgmental towards
the images that emerge. ~Julie

[Amanda Koh]

Thanks for that suggestion, Julie Ann! That sounds beautiful............... I will try that out myself. :)

[Mary Barrett]

Just came here 2/23 late at night. What a great reply! Thank you, Amanda.
It's good for me to hear that someone else also deals with this art/guilt conundrum. What am I saying art is when I attach guilt to it? What is the reason I want to do art? Certainly not to eliminate guilt! So what is happening? Well,it's very late and I don't want to write for long. I will say that there is so much pressure in our culture to do, to be doing, to prove we are doing and to avoid doing nothing. Doing nothing is really simply being alive, and there's no excuse for that! So art has slipped into that doing of something measurable, reportable, productive and then becomes something to fear.
This is all getting too complicated for my brain! Good night!

[Deborah Koff-Chapin]

Amanda, I know you wrote this ages ago but there is so much on this site i didn't find it until now. What an insightful ahd heartfelt statement for all of us....Much love, Deborah