(also published on the private"home from the gathering" page)
Hello everyone.... I am MISSING The group at Whidbey!! What a great week! I was just starting to feel human again and now I am back home feeling anxious and rushed already! Thank you all for making the week so wonderful...both the women at the gathering in body..and those people sharing the space in spirit. It is great to see the artwork /touchdrawings being made all around the country by people tapping into and supporting the gathering....and being supported.
I wanted to share my experience upon coming home......I did enjoy the week at the gathering and I did have some profound and insightful moments, drawing sessions and experiences but after what happened last night....i feel that the week perhaps opened me up or prepared me for another kind of experience or process with touch drawing.
Last night I was feeling so tired.....after having an all night flight home and a full days work. But I felt restless and a bit disoriented. So I put in the DVD I purchased from Deborah on touch drawing and laid down on my couch. I was watching it but sort of dozing in and out of sleep. Finally I just told myself to get up and go to bed so I went about brushing my teeth and shutting off lights...but then as I was coming back to my bedroom...my body just walked into my studio , which is in the room next to my bedroom...and, almost on auto pilo,t I pulled out a touch drawing board...roller and paint. It was 3AM at this point. I frantically looked for my pile of tissue paper which seemed to be nowhere in sight....but I found the newsprint and I had never really used the newsprint to make the touch drawings cause I like the tissue paper so much....but something inside me said...."use the newsprint...it doesn't matter" ....so i sat down rolled out the paint and put the newsprint on the board. I was vaguely aware that I was tired and should be going to bed...but i just sat there looking at the board. Then something from the DVD popped in my head...Deborah had been talking on the DVD about closing your eyes and working....and drawing the energy of your face. I remembered her talking about closing her eyes and working during the gathering too....and I realized that although I had tried doing it with my eyes closed and expressing my feelings, I had NOT intentionally tried to follow the energy in my body or face while doing it. Suddenly I realized that the newsprint was perfect cause it did not matter if i could see through the tissue anyway..and something about the heavier paper felt good under my finger tips.
I focused on the energy of my face and intended on making an "energetic self portrait." I moved my hands slowly and lifted the paper and was so amazed. I felt such energy all of a sudden. All tiredness went away. I felt as if I was looking into a sacred place within my self and as if a door just opened up. I tossed another paper down and thought in my head...let me draw my "inner wisdom"....and my hands moved..in what seemed like the exact same way as before but when I lifted the paper this time...it was a totally different sort of face. But it looked and felt JUST like what I was feeling inside when I focused on my inner wisdom. Then I sat and my inner critic was next..i sat until the "feeling of the inner critic surfaced inside of me" and with my eyes closed I could start to feel the "energy" in my face shift...and i again moved my hands in what seemed similar ways...although there was a strong sense of movement coming now with each one....and again lifted the paper and was amazed at how accurately the drawing seemed to reveal the "feeling" of the inner voice. It was so amazing and profound. I felt giddy. I felt as if I was not even the one doing it. I felt awakened by something. Then I did my inner child, my sexual self, my inner strength, my creative self and my inner spirit and then a final self portrait again..as myself. I felt like dancing.....they are powerful and disturbing and exciting and so expressive.....and everyone is SO different. The "energies" were really embodied in the drawings....and I could feel each one as distinctly different as I went along. For example one of them had a raised right eye up further from the left..and while paying attention to my face and the energy while I drew with my eyes closed I could feel the shift in my own face..and it was reflected in the actual drawing. Perhaps at some point I will photograph them and show a couple....
It is really really just so interesting to me......all I have wanted to do is draw again today!! I think the gathering helped prepare me to experience this....... I will plan on drawing during the full moon. Thank you. In peace, Lori
Made some additions to my creativity altar when I got back from Gathering. Stones from the beach and the old-growth forest. The beaded jar made by Janet that I got at the give-away. My name tag from Gathering. The blessing scroll from Heather (and I can't remember who else made them...). The print I bought and had Deborah sign.
I went through most of my images with my husband. It was interesting to see his reactions -- sometimes he "got" it and sometimes not so much. I am totally in love with the image that I embellished, mounted, and took into the ceremony with me, and plan to frame it and hang it in the new house.
I realized that I left all my Touch Drawing supplies at the location where I'm facilitating a session on Saturday, so I won't be able to draw at the full moon on Wednesday! But I will be linking up with the spirit of the group then.
After reading all the posts from everyone upon returning, I'm jealous I don't have my TD supplies yet to start drawing. Thanks for all the upbeat and supportive posts. Lori, fantastic post about your drawing experience....makes me want to get started! Angela, the alter looks great....love the beaded jar, too ;) Jan